New research explains how dating apps are changing people. The problem is when the gossip goes too far. For example, you could open a door for them or help them carry something heavy. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Gossip might even be a type of verbal harassment. All you can do is try to live a good life and be kind to others, so that when people like this spread mean rumors about you, other people will know not to trust his word over yours. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. When you withdraw your attention, their toxic words lose power. Certainly, gossip can be problematic to both those gossiped about and to the gossipers themselves. Should I confront someone who is talking about me? According to Dr. Breur, there are several ways to cope when people consistently head your way with the latest on someone's new partner, dog, or career. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. If you ask calmly and politely, they may respect your request and stop immediately. Step #1 - Gossip is best dealt with head-on. In these studies, when college students were asked to describe others in a negative manner, they consistently experienced decreased self-esteem following the negative evaluation. When it comes to the rumor mill, both types of information-sharing have the potential to be damaging. Speaking at the expense of our fellow man only makes the people who gossip look smaller in our eyes. After all, ours is a rumor-filled society. But if the rumors are about you, thats another story. Remember that at the end of the day, the things people say about you behind your back are a reflection of them, not you! Let them know someone is talking about you and you're not OK with it. Getting away from the hum-drum reinvigorates all aspects of our lives. The best way to approach this would be directly and politely. Though you may be tempted to act out or confront the person, sometimes the best response is to ignore gossip. Try to frame your feelings in terms of yourself rather than focusing on him. But too much youll never guess what I found out can backfire. He holds an MA in Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding from California State University Dominguez Hills. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. They ignore attention seekers. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It is often used as a form of social currency where the informant has access to intriguing but not necessarily accurate information. You can do this by using "I" phrases rather than "you" phrases. was rubbish at running compare to her. ", are gossiping about me are saying that I still like him, and my friend told me that him and his friends were making fun of me because she was listening to the conversation but wasn't really talking in it. Sign up for wikiHow's weekly email newsletter. Gossip can easily spread between people who know one another but this does not mean that one party has to suffer through it. Consider the following ways of effectively dealing with gossip: Deflect. Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. Because of this, Harbinger and I teamed up to offer some advice on how to handle and process these situations: Negativity makes them look bad, not you. Inside the Mating Psychology of Involuntary Celibates, When to Cut the Cord on an Emotionally Distant Relationship, 3 Things to Consider While Living Your "Fleabag Era", 17 Reasons to Keep Going When You Dont Think You Can. Be available for someone who has learned about a death by suicide. Dr. Breur. In addition, even if they did say things, consider what they actually meant. Hang Out with Your Real Friends. You might say, Im having trouble with another student/coworker. "If you approach the people who are gossiping about you, they may learn that what they say eventually gets back to the victim. You may need to use some other strategies if the gossip persists but this is a good starting strategy. You might list things like, great listener, good shoulder to lean on, or creative.. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that causes someone to lose their sense of perception and self-worth. Just give them a chance to respond. A midlife crisis is typically defined as emotional turmoil marked by a strong desire for change. People who gossip say bad things about other people to make themselves feel better by comparison. The courage to confront someone who's talking behind your back, or to break up a gossip-fest among your friends, family, or coworkers, is at first hard (and scary); however, once you flex your zero-tolerance muscles a few times, others will learn you're a gossip-free zone. Humans are the only species that make art. People talk about other people for all kinds of reasons, from insecurities and depression to conformity and a simple desire for entertainment. Determining if the Gossip Really Happened, {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/72\/Confront-Someone-Who-Has-Been-Gossiping-About-You-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Confront-Someone-Who-Has-Been-Gossiping-About-You-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/72\/Confront-Someone-Who-Has-Been-Gossiping-About-You-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/aid9972-v4-728px-Confront-Someone-Who-Has-Been-Gossiping-About-You-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":325,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":514,"licensing":"